Farewell in Heaven
by fragile rose
Summary: UPDATED!!!mamuro flees to the states to start his medical studies leaving usagi behind and longing... ever since then he never called or even write... eventually, usagi grew sick... will mamuro be too busy to care for the person he loves the most?
1. Depression

**Farewell in Heaven**

Hiya! Well, its been a long time since I made a fic… hmm... This does not have a really happy ending… hehe… was just depressed these past few days so I decided to write this story… so if you don't want to read an unhappy fic you have a chance now to go… but if you're up to the task then enjoy… =)

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN Sailormoon and all its characters… I'm merely borrowing them for my story…

                       In addition, I do not own all the songs included here in my story… 

**Chapter One: Depression (Usagi's POV)**

As I, alone, walked through the empty streets of Tokyo on a cold rainy night, memories of a love that was once near to me came flooding my mind just like the raindrops falling on the ground.

My mind drew a picture of the ill-fated day when we were together. His slender hand crossed against mine. His raven black hair moved with the cold night wind. My really long blonde tresses followed behind me. We leaned against the railings of a small bridge and from there; we stared upon the wonderful starry sky. Our laughter died into silence as the moon revealed itself. Unexpectedly, he took hold of my face and stared at me with his deep black eyes. He told me that he was given a chance to fulfill his dream of studying abroad. He asked me if it's ok and of course, I said yes… Who am I to say otherwise? I'm just his girl… even if it hurts… if it would make him happy… I tried to fight the tears that were attempting to fall but I couldn't help it. Drop by drop they fell from my eyes. I remember completely how his kiss felt that day… How he wiped the pain-stricken tears away from my eyes… and how his embrace felt warm, engulfing me into a deep dimension of love and contentment… yet anguish remains…

The rain slowly turned into drizzle. My location was not that far away from my house and it was getting late so I started heading home. 

I reached a familiar entrance and opened it. My soaking wet body made its way through the elevator, into my apartment and lastly, into my bed.

Our picture stood still atop of my desk. I tried to put up a weak smile but my mind was not responding. The more I try to hide it…the more it resists.

I would do anything just to hear his voice again… even once… I miss him so much! My heart being broken into pieces day by day… I plunge into an endless darkness… 

"I remember how your smile can heal my pain whenever I feel sad… please… I need you now… more than ever…"

I let myself drift into a deep sleep. It was, now, my favorite thing to do… so I could dream of him as much as I want… hoping that soon enough he'd comeback… 

The warm spring heat brought me to consciousness. It was Saturday so I didn't have to worry about getting late.

Getting out of my bed was not my option. I decided to stay lying there. I didn't want to go out. I was not even hungry. I just wanted to be alone…

_Kring Kring _The phone rang and woke me up from my profound thoughts.

I lazily stood up and answered it.

"Mushi, mushi. Who's calling?" I asked.

"Hi Usagi! It's me, Rei. Prom night's this Saturday. Do you wanna go shopping?"

"Thanks but I'm not going to the prom, maybe next time. I'm just not in the mood. Sorry."

"I see. Umm… Usagi, are you ok?"

_Silence_

A small teardrop slowly slid from my eye.

"Hey. Are you still there?" 

"Uh yeah. Still here… I'm alright." I lied.

I didn't want her to worry.

"I know you're not. It's obvious. Please don't hide it anymore. I know you're hurt because of him… Mamuro… I have to go now. Please be happy."

"Thanks Rei. I needed that." I hung up and returned to my bed.

Mamuro, you were supposed to be my prince on the night of my prom. You promised we'd dance all night. You promised we'd take out food from my favorite bistro and eat it under our favorite spot at the park. But all these are fading away. Why won't you call me? Why won't you answer my messages? I'd understand if you're busy but how would I know with out you telling me?!! I'm looking like a jerk already! How long would you let me wait…?

My tirade finally ended although I know it could go on forever. My eyes were really swollen, my nose was runny and my body was weak. It has been almost a month since he left but my depression now was worse than ever. Music always calms me down, I thought.

I indolently stood up and switched open my radio then I went to the bathroom to wash my face. Exhausted as I was, I chose to make one more stop at the kitchen to get a glass of water. I returned to my room but before I reached my bed, I heard a very familiar melody. I dropped my glass of water. They were playing our song…

_++flashback++_

_It was Valentines D_ay; _also our first anniversary. As a gift, I secretly got his favorite watch and paid good money for it could be engraved with our names. He told me that his surprise was soon to come._

_I dressed up for our date. My hair was at its usual style. I wore a light pink halter dress with matching pearl earrings and bracelet._

_We were supposed to meet at a fancy French restaurant at __seven thirty pm__. I opened the door of my apartment hoping that I won't be late fort his special night. To my surprise, he was at my doorstep with a smile on his face._

_"Happy anniversary!" He kissed me._

_"But I thought we will meet at the restaurant?"_

_"Well, I told you I had a surprise for you so this is it. The restaurant was just one of my plans to keep you expecting." He laughed but quieted when he saw me frown._

_"Just joking!" I t was my turn now to kiss him._

_I handed him the neatly wrapped box with my gift inside it. _

_"What is this? You didn't need to get me a gift." Slowly he tore the wrapper and opened the box._

_"Usako, this is my watch! I thought I lost it!"_

_"Happy Anniversary" I got the watch and turned it over so he can see the engravings._

"_It's wonderful. Thanks." He removed his old watch and replaced it with the one I gave him._

_"Now it's my turn to give you my surprise. My car is just downstairs. Let's go." He smiled and escorted me to the elevator._

_When we got to his car, he stopped me from getting in and blindfolded me._

_"What is this for?" I asked._

_"It's for your surprise! Don't worry I'm right by your side."_

_He assisted me inside of his car and heard him close the door._

_"Mamo-chan?" I waved my hand hoping I'd touch him._

_"I'm here. I told you not to worry. I promise we'll be there soon."_

_All throughout our drive, he never let go of my hand and I liked that. It made me feel safe…_

_"We're here." He let go of my hand and I heard him went out of the door._

_He assisted me again going outside of his car and removed my blind fold. His hands quickly went around my eyes creating darkness once more. A cold breeze blew making me shiver._

_"Ready?" He asked._

_"Yep!" I quickly answered back._

_He slowly uncovered my eyes. My eyes widened as I saw the marvelous view. _

_We were at an old parking lot overlooking the whole city of __Tokyo__. There was a small walkway with rose petals scattered over it. Lastly, there was a table for two complete with candlelight, wine, and a single red rose as a centerpiece._

_"So, do you like it?" _

_"Like it? Oh no! I Love it!" I hugged him tight and kissed him._

_"I only got your watch engraved. Sorry if its nothing special." _

_"It's really fine and Usako, you've been giving me your love. That's more than I can ever ask for." _

_He led me to the table and pulled a chair for me. We ate and drank contentedly with each other's company. We kissed, we laughed the night out. _

_"Glad to see you're having fun." _

_"Uhuh. I don't want this time to be over." _

_"Actually, my surprise is not yet over." He stood up and went to his car; opened the trunk and pulled out something that I couldn't make out because of limited light._

_He went back, finally making me see what he was holding._

_"A guitar?"___

_"Yup. I never told you I could play. Hehe. I heard a song from the radio and it reminded me of you… of us… So I thought I'd play it for you tonight. I haven't played the guitar for a while now and I'm not good in singing so forgive me if I'm sloppy." He scratched his head and started strumming._

_   
When we turn out the lights_

_The two of us alone together_

_Something's__ just not right_

_But__ girl you know that I would never_

_Ever let another's touch, come between the two of us_

_Cause__ no one else will ever take your place_

_No one else comes close to you _

_No one makes me feel the way you do_

_You're__ so special girl to me_

_And__ you'll always be eternally_

_Every time I hold you near_

_You always say the words I love to hear_

_Girl with just a touch you can do so much_

_No one else come close_

_And__ when I wake up to_

_The touch of your head on my shoulder_

_You're__ my dream come true, oh yeah_

_Girl you know I'll always treasure_

_Every kiss and everyday I'll love you girl in_

_Everyway and I always will, cause in my eyes_

_No one else comes close to you _

_No one makes me feel the way you do_

_You're__ so special girl to me_

_And__ you'll always be eternally_

_Every time I hold you near_

_You always say the words I love to hear_

_Girl with just a touch you can do so much_

_No one else come close_

_His song ended with the final strum. Tears of joy now filled my eyes... _

_"Happy anniversary Usako" He grinned at me but that grin turned into a frown when he saw me crying._

_"What's wrong? Didn't you like it?" _

_I quickly wiped the tears of my eyes and moved closer to him._

_"Ie.__ It was wonderful. Those were tears of joy." I held his hand._

_"I never want to lose you…"_

_His arm found its way to my shoulder and his free hand found its way to my face._

_"Me neither. Here…" He took out a black box from his pocket and handed it to me._

_"What's this?" I asked as I reached for the box._

_"Open it." _

_I opened the small package. Inside was a gorgeous silver necklace with a crescent moon for a pendant._

_"Mamuro, it's beautiful." He took the necklace from my hand and placed it on my neck._

_"Now, my surprise is complete. But all these are simple things that won't last forever. The food we just ate will be digested. The wonderful view will perish in the morning. The necklace might be lost. This night will soon be over. But I promise you, no matter how each and everything changes, my love for you will never perish."_

_I felt his arms moved around my waist and his head lay on the hollow of my shoulder._

_"I love you…" Mutually, we said._

_@---8---- End of flashback @---8----_

My body was shaking with pain and anger… anger to the world… anger to him… anger to my self…

I have to hold on, _I thought._

I have to be strong somehow…

-_-_-_-_-_-

That's the end of the first chapter! I told you this was pure angst! Don't say I didn't warn you! Lol! So what do you think? I know it's not great but I hope you do appreciate it…=)

Preview for the next chapter: Usagi's 18th birthday is fast approaching but as the day comes close, evident changes have been taking place. Finally, the day has arrived and Usagi receives the worst gift she could ever get… a _dreadful reality caused by her depression. Still Usagi's POV… still angst… =) _

**_I can only express myself with my pen and on the stories I write…. I've always been alone… alone in my own dream world… happiness… but when I wake up in reality I see only pain… The light I once had disappeared…altered by an endless darkness… still waiting… still wanting someone to light me back again…_**


	2. Dreadful Reality

**Farewell in Heaven**

This is the second chapter you're about to read. The genre does not change… but in this chapter, it'll lighten up a bit. I just hope no body hates me for using Usagi and Mamuro in an angst fic… I'm merely expressing my thoughts and feelings. =) Reviews please! 

BASIS: TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE

Disclaimer: This is a fanfiction. I do not guarantee that all that is written here is a fact.

**Chapter Two: Dreadful Reality (Usagi's POV)  **

It was Saturday night. Prom was an hour from now. It sucked being alone at my apartment so I decided to take a walk. 

The park was empty and the lamps were already on. The cold February wind rushed through my face as I decided to take a seat on one of the benches. I rubbed my hands eager to get some heat and brushed away a few strands of hair that has fallen on my face.

I smiled as I thought of my 18th birthday coming just around the corner. I didn't intend to plan a party though. I just didn't felt like celebrating.

Looking back on how I was a few days back, bulgy eyes and runny nose, I guess I had become stronger indeed. 

I breathed in the cold night air and decided to make my way back home.

The door of my apartment soon came into view. I reached for the key on my small pouch and headed for the door.

To my surprise, I saw the door standing ajar.

I quietly entered the room hoping that there was no one inside.

I twitched as an uncanny hand tapped my shoulder.

"What's wrong with you?" A familiar voice said.

I looked back and I saw Rei wearing her prom dress.

"Damn! You scared me! Why are you here and how on earth did you opened the door?" I said, panting.

"Well, I decided not to go to the prom and…" She paused as she handed me a key.

"You gave me an extra key remember?" She smirked at me and went further inside the room.

"Why did you decide not to go to the prom? Hello? For a fact, you were invited by Seiya, the hottest guy at school."  I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms in front of me.

"Hmm… enough questioning…I really don't care if I was about to miss a prom date with the hottest guy in school. Let's just say I did this for my best friend."  She smiled and sat down at the couch.

"Oh Rei! You're strange as ever." 

We spent the whole night together dancing and laughing, pretending to be at the prom.

"It's really getting late. I have to go." She stood up and straitened up her gown.

I giggled. "Sure. See you around!" I led her to the door.

"Ja!" She said and opened the door.

"Thanks for the wonderful time. Take care… Oh Seiya, what are you doing here?"  

Seiya was standing at the doorstep with his hand positioned as if he was just about to knock.

"Hi Usagi, Uhm… I went to pick up Rei… She cancelled our date and told me that she'll be at your house. I went to the prom but did not really have fun."  A slight blush covered his face.

"I guess your night isn't over, Rei" I pushed her beside Seiya and bade goodnight.

"Hope you don't mind." I heard Seiya said as I closed the door.

What a night, _I thought.  I'm glad Rei's having luck at her love life._

=====

_Kring Kring Kring Kring The phone rang, waking me up from my sleep._

"Hello?" I said groggily.

"Hi Usagi! Happy Birthday!" 

"Rei?! Its twelve am! You could have just greeted me later." 

"I wanted to be the first one to greet you…sorry if I woke you up. Hmm… I'll pick you up later at around three in the afternoon. Let's go shopping ok. Bye!" She dropped the phone before I can say goodbye.

I continued my trailed of sleep. 

^^^

_Tok tok._

_That must be Rei. I thought as I added the last bit of makeup to my face._

"Coming!" I dropped the lip-gloss and ran to the door.

"Ready?" Rei asked.

"Yep! Let's go!" I made sure I locked the door and joined her.

At the mall, I tripped inexplicably causing my shopping bags to scatter.

"Are you alright?" Rei asked, helping me gather my bags together.

"Yup! This is just my usual clumsiness I guess." I smiled and headed for more shops.

Finally, our spree ended. I got a new top and a new pair of shoes. Rei bought a new purse and a new dress for yet another date with Seiya. We ate a snack at the Crown Restaurant and spent the rest of the afternoon eating ice-cream at the park. We went back at the apartment at around six pm.

As we made our way to the elevator, I could not help but notice Rei's constant smiling.

She, then caught me staring at her wordlessly.

"What?" She asked.

"You seem so exited. Would you mind telling me the reason why?"

"I'm just happy that's all." She grinned deviously.

I raised a silent question on my mind as to if Rei was planning something fishy. She seemed so weird today.

She hummed a happy tune as we reached the floor where my apartment was. 

I reached for the key and unlocked the door as she suspiciously tapped her feet consecutively.

I switched on the lights and to my surprise, confetti started falling down and Seiya came to welcome us with a small cake in his hands.

"Surprise!" Rei bellowed.

"Why…how…" I was too surprised to talk.

"Happy Birthday Usagi" Seiya said.

"Do you like your gift?" I heard Rei asked.

"Thank you Rei! Just one question though…how did Seiya know what today was?"

"Well, you see, this is a part of your surprise..." She moved next to Seiya.

"…were sort of a couple already." 

"You? Since when?"

"Before we tell you all the details, would you mind blowing the candle already? I'm kind of tired holding the cake." Seiya smirked.

I laughed and went near them to blow off the candle.

"There…" Seiya said as he placed the cake on the table.

He went beside Rei and held her hand. "Do you remember when I picked up Rei here? That night I told her what she really meant to me and that started it all. I wanted to tell you sooner but Rei insisted we tell you the news on your birthday."

"We planned this surprise party for you. I knew you weren't in the mood for celebrating but I thought a small party with just the three of us would be nice to make you forget your depression." Rei stated.

"Thanks guys!" I hugged them both.

The party ended as we ate the last batch of cake.

"Are you happy?" Rei asked.

"Yup! I'm satiated. It's a nine out of ten party." I quickly answered.

"What's with the one point difference?" Seiya asked politely.

"My boyfriend…" My buoyant smile slowly turned into a frown.

"Sorry. I must have said something wrong."

"Well, you see, Usagi has this boyfriend who moved to America to study. He never called or wrote ever since." Rei groaned.

I smiled. "Look at me. It's my birthday but I'm frowning. Don't worry. I'm ok. All you two must worry about is your relationship."

I saw them both flush. 

"It's really getting late. Let's clean up already." I suggested.

I swept the floor, Rei washed the dishes and Seiya put out the trash.

"There, everything's spic and span again! I guess we'd better go. In case you haven't noticed, it's eleven thirty in the evening already." Rei said as she placed the last plate on the dish rack.

"I guess so too. I'll go along with you up to the front door of the building. We'd have to use the stairs because the elevator stops working at ten pm."  I offered.

We went out of the apartment and made our way down the stairs. We only had to climb two floors down but my feet were getting tired. As the last, few steps came into view, my feet stopped moving and I felt my body stumble. The last things I heard were Seiya's and Rei's screams. 

I landed headfirst on the first floor. I sat up but then felt a constricting pain in my head making me shudder.

"Usagi, are you alright? What happened to you? Seiya can you carry her back to the apartment?" Rei said in a concerned tone.

"Sure," Seiya replied.

Gently, I felt my body carried up to my apartment. 

Seiya laid my body slowly on my bed and then positioned himself next to Rei.

"You tripped unexplainably at the mall too. I think you should go and have yourself checked." Rei advised.

"I do not mind driving you off to the hospital tomorrow." Seiya spoke softly.

I nodded in acceptance.

"I'll spending the night her to make sure she's fine." Rei sat warily next to me.

"Ok. See you tomorrow. I'll be here early tomorrow so I can help you prepare." Seiya kissed Rei and smiled at me then left.

I slept soundly with Rei beside me. 

She woke me up around eight am telling me Seiya was to pick us up at nine. She made a reservation at the hospital and assisted me getting ready. 

Seiya came on time. He and Rei both settled me in the car. We drove to the hospital and waited for my turn.

"Tsukino…" We heard my name finally announced. A nurse came and showed us the way to the clinic.

We three entered the cozy room and sited ourselves on the seats available. 

A young woman came in.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Mizuno. Who is Usagi Tsukino? I believe you called for a check up. " She smiled and sat on her chair.

"I am," I said.

"What seems to be the problem?" She asked.

"Well," Rei began "She has been stumbling down inexplicably lately. Just last night she fell down the stairs."

"I see. This is a weird case, I presume. I'd have to take some tests. Let's move to the testing room," Dr. Mizuno gestured us to go with her.

*

Every week I was tested. First, Dr. Mizuno tested my blood. Then she tested my urine. When nothing could be found, she ordered a muscle biopsy, taking a small piece out of my calf. The reports came back suggesting a neurological problem, and I was again brought in for another series of tests. In one of those tests, they let me sat on a special seat and zapped me with electrical current and studied my neurological responses. 

Dr. Mizuno has always handled me with care. Finally, after two months testing, I together with Rei and Seiya went to the hospital again. We were asked to sit down before Dr. Mizuno broke the news.

"You have Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS). It's a brutal, remorseless disorder of the neurological system. No body knew the source of this terrible ailment and I'm very sorry to say that there is no known cure. Usually, the symptoms do not develop until after the age 50 but yours is quite unique. Your depression might be the cause of this."

I saw Rei tremble with shock as she heard the news. Seiya rubbed her back constantly trying to give comfort. _But who was to comfort me? _

"Is it terminal?" I asked.

_Silence _

Tears were now forming around my eyes. 

"Yes. It is. Your schooling should be stopped to ease the disease temporarily. I'm really sorry." 

Tears began to fall from my eyes. I was going to die. I never knew that small symptoms such as falling down the stairs would result to this brutal disease. 

We left the hospital with out saying a word. My world stopped turning. Everything came falling down on me… 

Our drive seemed so long. Usually Seiya would turn on the car radio very loud and we'd sing familiar tunes at the top of our lungs but now, it wasn't even on… 

We arrive at my apartment still silent. I went to sit at the couch next to the phone.

"Should I call him?" I asked Rei.

She sniffed and replied, "He deserves to know…"

Rei went beside me as I dialed Mamuro's number. 

-=-=-=-

That's the end of the 2nd installment…reviews please! =)

By the way, I got the disease info in the book I read… Tuesdays with Morrie… =) =)

Preview of the next chapter: It's Mamuro's POV. How has he been doing in America? That's about it. =)

**_I can only express myself with my pen and on the stories I write…. I've always been alone… alone in my own dream world… happiness… but when I wake up in reality I see only pain… The light I once had disappeared…altered by an endless darkness… still waiting… still wanting someone to light me back again…_**


	3. Alternate Space

**Farewell in Heaven**

Another installment coming up! As I've said in the preview, this will be Mamuro's POV. =) Reviews please! I don't accept flames but I do accept constructive criticisms.

**Chapter Three: Alternate Space **

It has been almost a month since I left Japan for America and ever since then, I've been so busy settling in. Education was great but my communication skills weren't. I needed to take English classes too. My scholarship has not been verified so I had to take a part time job to pay for my classes. I barely have time for myself.

Each day, projects were released, proposals were made and theses were due. Being that busy, I avoided everything… even Usagi. I know she tried to call me a million times but I gave in the ringing to my answering machine. Besides, I thought, I'm doing this for her. I must give her a decent life.

Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. I finally got my scholarship verified so my full schedule slowly turned into moderate. My standing in class was great that some of my professors exempted me from some future projects. 

With my schedule at ease, I, at last, made my first friend. Her name was Minako Aino… a new student, also Japanese and we both came from Tokyo. 

School was over for the day so I made my way back to the school dormitory. I unlocked the door, removed my coat and surrendered myself unto my bed. I was just about to close my eyes but I heard the phone ringing. I felt a weird urge to answer it so I stood up.

"Hello…?"  I said.

"Mamuro…?" The voice on the phone said.

"This is he. Who's calling?" I asked.

"It's me… Usagi" 

I felt my body froze as she mentioned her name. It has been so long since I talked to her.

"I know you're busy, and you might not want to talk to me but I really need to tell you something…" She paused then I heard her sniff.

"I have a severe disease…The doctor said that it involves my neurological system."

I gulped as I tried to absorb every word she says.

"I wouldn't want you to worry though. I know I can handle this myself…I think I've bothered you enough already…Ja ne…"

She dropped the phone without even waiting for me to reply. 

Her voice still echoed in my ears… the way she said every word… I knew I missed her but I needed to stay here.

"Anything wrong…?" A familiar voice said.

"Hi Minako, well, my girlfriend just called." Looking away, I replied.

"So? Why the long face?" She narrowed her brow.

"She said she had a severe disease…" I hit the wall with my fist then continued. "I miss her Minako, ever since I moved here I never got the chance to talk to her. I was too preoccupied with my studies that I took her for granted. Hard as it is, I still need to stay here…" 

She smiled then responded, "I understand what you mean. I also left somebody back at Japan…not my boyfriend though… I left my brother. He knew I wanted to give him a bright future so he allowed me to leave… I'm sure your girl would understand…" 

"Thanks…" I said, smiling back.

She looked at her watch, "It's still early, want to grab some coffee?"

I stood up and grabbed my coat. "That would be nice…"

++

Time, after that night, went slow. I became busy once again but I can't seem to have the might to do what has to be done. My finals are coming up, and more projects came into due. My eyes were getting strained night by night as I spend my whole evening in front of the computer. I put myself out for a better future, I try to make everything perfect, but why did I feel like I was going to regret everything I was doing? I needed an answer… maybe… I needed her… Usagi… my rays of sunshine… my brier rose… my sole moon… 

"Only seven more months until you leave this place, c'mon you can do this!" I focused myself and began working once more.

======= 

Just a very short chapter… reviews please =)

Preview for the next chapter: Rei's POV… Usagi, day by day gets weaker. Swallowing had to be a task; standing was being too hard… Mamuro hasn't called and Rei's getting impatient for Usagi… a short chapter telling how Rei deals with the pain her best friend feels…

I'll try to update as fast as I can so there wouldn't be any confusion ^^,


	4. Unease

**Farewell in Heaven**

Sorry for the long update… I just couldn't find the right words to say in this chapter… hehehe you could say I was in a writer's block! Enjoy reading…

**Chapter Four: Unease (Rei's POV)**

While darkness covered the sky, pain slowly roofed my heart…

It has been two weeks since we knew about Usagi's disease… two weeks since I saw her talked with Mamuro. Each word I heard her say was stained with grief… I remember her eyes flutter closed to stop a downfall of tears… her lips quivered as she try to remain cool on the telephone.

Day by day I would wake up finding myself wrapped in the warm embrace of Seiya but the sight of Usagi sleeping, sick, on her bed would make me nauseous and cold. My best friend was dying…  It was just intolerable…

We were so happy then…

Usagi's condition was getting worst everyday. She can't stay standing for a long time; in fact the doctor recommended her to use a cane already. Drugs to slow down the spread of the disease were given to her to take in. She'd constantly stare at nothingness and sob.

Reality came unto me as I felt an unexpected body sit beside me. Being familiar with the body, I unthinkingly leaned against it and sighed.

"Are you ok?" Seiya asked as he placed a soft kiss on my cheek.

I mimicked his act and stood from the couch I was sitting on to prepare dinner.

I had to cook everything extra soft for Usagi to eat.

"Usagi, wake up, dinner is ready." I gently tapped her side to wake her up.

She slowly opened her eyes and yawned.

"Did anybody call?" she inquired.

"Umm, yeah… Dr. Mizuno called up to ask how you are doing. I'm afraid no one else called." I said, helping her stand up.

"I see…" She frowned and steadied herself with her cane.

I settled Usagi on a chair next me so I could feed her easily. Lifting utensils tires her easily….

After dinner, I helped her wash up and get dressed. That was our usual routine, and then finally, I would tuck her up in bed and wait for her to fall asleep.

"Goodnight…" I whispered.

She nodded and closed her eyes.

"Coffee?" Seiya offered.

I smiled and declined.

Seiya got my hand and led me to the narrow veranda of Usagi's apartment.

"I hope the soft wind and the simple view would make relief you." He sipped his coffee and placed his arms around my shoulder.

I sighed as I breathed in the cold night air. 

"I can't take this anymore! Mou! How long does Usagi have to wait until Mamuro comes back! I'm so angry!!! What can I do! I can't leave Usagi here and go to America to find Mamuro… I can't leave you behind too… Oh God, help me through this…"  

The moon shone bright and made my tears sparkle like the stars… I leaned my head against Seiya's shoulder and continued to shudder with pain and anger…

Seiya continued drinking his coffee without saying a word. His eyes shone in the dim light… then I saw a smile form in his lips…

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life…" He began.

"They seem half asleep even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things… But you are not some people… You devote yourself in taking care of Usagi, loving her, giving her anything you can give…trying to make her happy…You've done more than enough… what more are you looking for… you already have purpose and meaning… I love you Rei, and nothing would ever change that… To see you being hurt like this would be torture for me… but I really don't care… As long as you commit your self in your purpose, I'd continue oblige my self in mine too… and that is to live by loving you…"

His words struck right through me… In front of me was the man who'd be willing to sacrifice anything for my sake… sacrifice anything for me to be happy… he'd give up even his own life just for me… and that made my love even stronger…

His tender love mended a part of a big rupture in my heart ever since I knew of Usagi's sickness… 

I faced him with a smile and tear-filled eyes.

"Thank you… I swear I'd continue what I've started…I'll take care of Usagi with your help… I love you…"

He kissed me affectionately and I did too…

I sighed again as we parted from our kiss.

"Seiya…"

"Yes?" He responded as he clasped his hand with mine.

"Would you let me do one more thing for Usagi? I promise this will be last time… please?" I pleaded.

"Sure." He simply said.

I went back inside the apartment, to Usagi's desk and looked for her address book.

I found it and searched for Mamuro's name.

I went to the phone and dialed his number.

His machine answered, _I'm sorry but I'm not in right now. Please leave a message and I promise I'd try to get back to you as soon as possible._

**_BEEP_**

****

I breathed and started to talk.

"Mamuro, it's me Rei. I guess you're busy… Where are you? Usagi needs you… She's really sick… The doctor said that she has Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis… Since you're studying medicine, maybe you've heard of it… I can't do everything by my self around here. Please take a minute and think about this…Ne Mamuro… Ja!"

I breathed again as I placed the handset down and walked back to where Seiya was.

"You called Mamuro huh…" 

"Yup… I just hope he'd truly sit and think about what I said…"

With his arms wrapped around my waist, I prayed a silent prayer that soon enough everything would turn out fine and hoped that what I'm praying for is not impossible…

++======++

well that's end of chapter four… I hope you liked it! 

Preview for the next chapter: mamuro chooses between his studies and his dreams or Usagi


End file.
